Directions

So, like most random Internet bloggers, this one won't really be read by many, if any.  Still, I have thought a bit about the direction this blog should take. 
Food for my own thought:
- A blog about "my life" would be fairly mundane.  Sure, my life has interesting points, but overall it's probably ordinary in lots of ways.
- A blog about a typical topic in which the general public may have some knowledge is kind of pointless, no?  Like, Nick already blogs Twins, I read tons of blogs about fishing... get the point? 
- Personal opinions are a dime a dozen... "Opinions and assholes, every one's got 'em."  Still, some opinions are going to find their way into here, it's human nature!  Mine are strong, so beware, tender readers (imaginary readers, I mean)!!!

This blog will be a random one about random topics. 

For today's edition:
Since my current relationship and the one that ended last were both found from online sources, here's a little advice about online dating for guys.  Do's and don'ts, if you will.  A few background points:
- Men outnumber women around 3 to 1 on most sites, and certainly to some extent on every site.
- Just like in real life, women will hardly ever be the aggressor, or one to initiate "conversation."
- Websites are meant/designed to arrange a meet in real life.  Not naked web cam sessions.  This advice blog doesn't cover that sort of website...

With that...
Do's:
- Use your spell check.  Even better, copy any messages you send to a woman into word or other software that checks grammar too and re-paste later... "But what if I don't have/can't afford Word?"  Download Open Office (www.openoffice.org).  It's free and it works really well.  This counts, guys.  You look like a moron if you send a message with mis-spelled words and an overall butchery of grammar.  Chicks dig smart dudes for a number of reasons.  Even if you're not smart, spelling and grammar done correctly makes it look like you at least might be above a 6th grade reading level.  This puts you ahead of at least 90% of your competition in the online dating world.
- Be original.  Swallow your pride and browse the profiles of other men/little boys (which ever applies) to gauge your competition.  You'll quickly discover a bunch of things that "every" guy has.  Avoid those.  You'll also run across clever, original, and witty ones (few and far between).  If you actually want to meet a quality girl on there and you aren't a 10/10 in the looks department, originality and wit go a long way.  Take the time to do that and it will be worth it.
- Be patient.  You're not having sex one week after singing up and putting a picture in some profile up somewhere.  It may take awhile to meet someone who is a quality person.  Don't give up, and don't shut out the real world for dating prospects, either.  It took me almost a year and a half and nearly a dozen dates ranging from crappy to decent before I met my current girlfriend.  I was patient, picky, "in" the real world, and had no problem being single until I could find "her" who would make me happy.
- Be assertive.  Women like assertive men who take the lead, even the hard core feminists to some degree... As a generation of men raised by women, we're pussies and afraid to tell "her" what's up sometimes in fear of womanly wrath.  As long as you don't come off as a cocky asshole, go ahead and express an opinion and show a back bone.  It might even shock some women who are used to hanging out with doormat guys.  Also, plan the first few dates, should you actually coax her into meeting with you.  It shows initiative.  Have a plan, run it by her (or, when you get to know her a bit better, surprise her with something!) and just do it.  Don't sound wishy washy while rehearsing your plan to her.  Sound confident that you two will have a good time!  I can't tell you how many women I've talked to that told me he just said "whatever you want to do is fine with me."  It amazes me women, who are indecisive by nature, put up with this crap.  I promise, if you show initiative, you've just stomped most of your competition.  Don't worry, if she likes you she will plan some dates and even pay for them down the line.
- Make your profile honest.  Use current pictures and don't lie about where you stand on things.  It will backfire in the end.  Be honest about your height and body type as well.  When she comes to meet you and discovers that you're really 5'7" and "a few extra pounds" instead of 6' and "athletic" like you said, she's gone.  No, it's not being shallow.  You lied, and you can't win her over with your personality if you lie about your appearance.

Don'ts:
- Send a picture of your penis to a woman.  Don't freaking do it, okay?  It's a bad fucking idea and will get you nowhere.  I get it, you love your dick.  Well, good for you.  If you want her to love it someday, let her either:  1) Ask for a picture of your meat pole; 2)  Reach in your pants in person to find it in person;  and 3)  Let her discover it when you're both ready to bump uglies in person.  Trust me, if she wants to see blurry penis images, she can google images "idiotic schlong pics from Internet dating" and find more results than she cares to see.  DON'T SEND A PICTURE OF YOUR PENIS TO A WOMAN YOU DON'T KNOW!  Yes, it happens all the time, hence my need to mention it.  If you're reading this and laughing, good for you.  For the rest, heed this advice if you want a woman from the Internet to touch your wiener in real life someday.
- Post shirtless pictures.  Maybe there's a few women who dig that.  But mostly, there are two problems with it.  First of all, most of you aren't anything special.  So, you hit the gym 4-5 days a week and have some good pecs and arms.  Great.  There are thousands of guys like you, though, sorry to say.  Unless you're ripped beyond belief, you have no business going shirtless on a dating website.  And, if you must, don't even think about standing in a mirror holding up a cellphone camera to do the job.  It's horribly tacky and desperate looking, meat head.  Second, most women find it cheesy or cliche to do so.  If you must be shirtless, be ripped and be at the beach with friends or something along those lines, not standing in a bathroom with a cellphone.
- Push for commitment right away.  Just because she emailed you back, or even met with you for a date or two, does not mean she's your girlfriend; worse are the imbeciles who email a woman for a month and expect her to be his girlfriend.  She's not.  You have to actually spend time with her in person for that to happen there chief.  Don't get all weird and ask for her facebook page and fifteen more pictures just because she responded once.  Wait on that until you meet in person, if you must.  I personally refuse my facebook page until we meet and have dated a bit, but to each their own.  For sure, though, don't do it until you've met in person.  A few emails does not a girlfriend make.
- Send her one or more nasty messages because she didn't reply to your first one.  Women have told me that they've received repeat messages from guys they're not interested in.  First one is "hey, ur cool and awesome and pretty, get back to me if interisted."  They aren't interested for any number of reasons, then they get "you stoopid bich, you suck, I hate ur stoopid azz and ur a slut hoebag ur missin out on a grate guy." (yes, mis-spelled for a reason).  Really, the women should thank you for showing your true asshole colors there.  Obviously, meat head, you liked her enough to message her but now you don't because she didn't like you back.  And, I'm sure the guy she would be interested in is a "stupid poopy loser" that you hate.  Fine.  However, you have now showed her exactly what she's missing out on:  A little toddler who throws sand and toys when he doesn't get the toy he wants in the sand box.  You want to be the kid who others want to share toys with, not the one who kids have to guard toys from (I used the toddler reference since most male online daters practically are toddlers).
- Send the same copy/paste message to 20 different women.  Women in real life like guys who listen and pay attention to what they're saying, then respond to them.  Read her profile, have something to say about it, and ask her a question.  Make it original and tailor it to her profile.  It's worth the time.  If you send the same crappy message to 20 women and none of them respond, you've taken those 20 out from wanting to talk with you in the future.  Take that same amount of time to send messages to your "top 3" women, and you've still left 17 you can message in the future.
- Spend all your time on the "hotties."  There are perfectly sexy women, some would rate as 7/10 in the real world or whatever, that aren't getting any attention on the site.  Meanwhile, there are perfect 10s getting literally hundreds of messages per day.  Why compete with hundreds of guys?  Go for the slightly less hot, you'll have better chances that way.  And, in my experience, women have looked better in person, anyway.
- Pay for online dating.  eHarmoney is tough; you spend a ton of time filling out a questionnaire, then matches are picked for you, making it impossible to browse profiles.  I've often heard of people being matched up with others they don't find attractive and when they do, those attractive people often don't respond.  Sometimes, they had a "free weekend" profile and aren't on the site anymore!  Match.com is a little better, so I've been told, but again they match you up with people and don't let you browse "everyone" like the free sites do.  Free sites have sketchy people, but there are more people in general and you can browse freely.  OkCupid and Plenty of Fish are both good free sites that work for a lot of people.

OK there guys!  I don't have one for women, maybe next time.  Women are afforded the luxury of being picky online so the advice set would look quite a bit different.  What I gave you above should be a good start.  Apply them, be honest with yourself and with others, and be patient.  I think you'll come to find out that women on these sites, including the free ones, are often pretty, educated, smart, and overall good catches.  They're using it for the same reasons as you; it can be tough to meet quality people in the real world!  I personally used it to "branch out" from friends of friends in the neighborhood and expand my dating pool.  It works really well if you let it work for you.

Good luck fellers!