The language of...

Last weekend, my buddy got married to his long time girlfriend.  Their son was happy about it, in a few years he'll be real happy about it.
It was a fun time, to be sure, I'd voluntarily be in another wedding if given the chance.
Saw lots of cool people do cool things.  Who would have guessed that Sean and Katie were such aces on the camera?  I would have liked it if Matters showed up, but such is life.
What I'm wondering about are grudges and animosity.
What's up with them and why do they exist?  The cliche "why can't we all just get along?" often pops into my head.  Until, that is, I lengthened one or I guess, didn't hear the apologist out.  Of course, I have no clue if she was actually an apologist.
What was her deal?  Was she jealous that Caro and I appeared to have a really great time while her and Johnners were hardly seen during the festivities that followed the ceremony?  Did that prompt her to approach me, with Uncle emmm-Scotty, no less?
I suppose I'll never really know.  I see her once or twice a year, at best, and never found her a particularly interesting person to talk with.  I remember the first time I met her, we rode in the car to Jimmy's cabin slugging down beers and joking around.  Then, I said something forceful, which I'm one to do, and didn't apologize for it.  Then, over the years, I had to endure countless smart-assed remarks and rude comments directed straight at me whilst she chuckled her fat rolls up and down.  I sat there and took it, out of respect for Johnners.  Then, after I made a personal pact to tell her off, she seemed skittish and didn't approach me the next half dozen times I was forced into her presence.
So, what should I do?  I think I'll talk to her next time, sort of "finish what I started" and move forward.
Here's my dialogue:
"Jaque, since the first day I ever met you four years ago, you've been a total asshole to me for no apparent reason other than my sometimes forceful personality.  I never understood why you held some effed up personal grudge against me, nor do I care.  I sat and took it due to my respect for your significant other, who obviously loves the hell out of you.  I'm not apologizing, as I see no reason to; I've done nothing wrong in my opinion.  Rather, this is a peace offering, and only that.  I don't really want to be your personal friend, but if we're in the same place, I promise not to be a cold, distant asshole to you and no one else.  I will actually say hi to you and if I'm feeling squirlly, I may even ask how you're doing and engage in brief periods of small-talk type conversation.  That's where it ends, though.  I've taken too much guff from you over the years and believe I've seen your true colors (fuck, another cliche, I'm on a friggin role here!), and have concluded that we're either miles apart in personality or mere millimeters apart.  Either of which make for a good friendship match.  That being said, let's shake on it never to be assholes to each other again.  Practice tolerance, and I shall do the same.  Good day to you, Jaque."
There, that should do it.

X's and O's

Some interesting tidbits from discussions with people have triggered some thoughts on my part.
These discussions were centered around sports, hence the "X's and O's" title; has nothing to do with smooching...
As a "stat geek" I've generally rated things based on the numbers.  "This team is good because they hit .280 collectively."  Or, "this product performs well because it's always near the specification target."
What I'm discovering statistics to be missing, however, is the human factor in all this.
Like, just because "this product" performs well in a controlled environment does not always mean it will perform well in an uncontrolled one.
If a baseball team collectively hits .280, they do hit pretty well, but does that mean they're winners?  The stat geek in me would want to seek out additional stats to try and predict this, but without actually watching them play, we don't know if they're going to be winners or not.

The point is, life doesn't always go to plan.  Stats can't always predict outcomes.  The human brain has sophistication the modern computer will never have, and vice versa.  The problem is, we're really starting to ignore this brain of ours.
Can stats predict the cohesiveness of a baseball team?  No.
Can stats predict locker room chemistry of a football team?  Of course not!  Look at the numbers T.O. put up over his career.  The most important one, number of super bowl rings, is zero.  I bet he'd trade all of those TD catches for just one piece of bling that says he won the big one.
Compared to a silicone microchip, our brain seems even more powerful.  If you take a 2GHz dual core processor, you're essentially moving zeros and ones through the each circuit at a rate of one billion units per second.  Circuits in the human brain can only move thousands of bits of data per second (however, the human brain probably doesn't work with binary code, this "code" is yet undetermined).  Chincy, right?  Wrong.  There are billions of circuits in the brain that work like this in harmonious synchronization.  That means that billions of connections are moving thousands of bits per second, all at the same time!  A thousand billion is a trillion.  Even the most powerful computer chips can't match that kind of power...
A brain can recognize a face by the time you snap your fingers.  A computer?  It may not be able to do it at all, and if it can, it's only an estimate based on imaging techniques that are very complicated programs to write and maintain.
A computer can "do math" much faster than a human can.  But, humans have to teach it how.  Additionally, computers can't recognize a screwy result very fast, but a human can!

So, my message today is to never forget your natural intuition and don't ignore your instincts.  They served our ancestors well, whom we are all descended from, that lived in a very difficult and harsh environment that you or I can only imagine.
Computers are a tool, nothing more.  The human element is more important.  Don't forget to realize your potential and don't put too much stock in computer generated statistics and other tools.

This has been a random rumbling from a grumbling fool.

Anxiety and the game of life.

My mom says she hates change.  My dad slowly has embraced it the past 5 years or so.  Ha, another proof that environment is stronger than genetics in personalities and attitudes.
Is the reason I'm looking for a new job after just 3+ years because I crave change so much?
Think about it:

• I've owned, let's see (I have to count them up) eight cars now.  A couple of them were perfectly fine but I sold them off and got into something else, anyway.  I'm also always looking at what's out there for sale.
• I have not eaten at the same place or even been to the same place or done the same thing with my gf since we met.
• I routinely get rid of my phones before the "new in two" plan takes over.
• Generally, I read part of a book or chapter before switching to work on another one, then I come back to it later.
• I get bored so easily at some things (like my current job) but stay engaged in others just as easily.  What the hell?

Sometimes, though, continuity is good.  Why stop a good thing?

Anxiety.
I want out of my job badly.  Sooooo boring, I'm nothing but a paper pusher and I really have no desire to "try hard" and "move up" from this job.  So many folks here are content with pushing paper and just moving up the T-scale while having essentially the same job - I don't get it.  I was good at helping the international locations.  I was good at mentoring the young quality engineers.  Yet, they yank me from it and don't even offer the chance to interview.  Pretty bush league.  I don't really want to leave 3M, but I feel like I'm being pushed out the door.  I like my boss a TON, but I'll admit that when I leave, there will be some satisfaction in telling him that I'm leaving.  Gladly, I'll hand over my laptop, sign the paper work that I pledge never to share 3M secrets, roll my benefits over to the next company, and get going on a new stage in life!

Family.
Gotta go see mom.  Haven't talked to her in awhile.  The ranting really took the luster off the prospects of seeing this medal my gramps brought back from the Marines.  Question is, how do I communicate to her that I don't care about all the family squabbling and conspiracy theories on why/who/what took place between Jerome and Joanne?  Is there a way to do this without hurting feelings?  Methinks not.
I like Rachel, and of course the new Andy is probably an improvement as he seems more grounded and settled.  Not sure about this "you should be here" nonsense, though.  If they really gave two shits, I'd hear about stuff that people have planned.  Like my "birthday dinner" that was scheduled around their free time, not mine.  It was my birthday!  Another thing I have to talk with Mom about.  Things on the dad front are cool as usual, though, and big-T can do no wrong!

Friends.
What the fuck's up with this bachelor party?  Should I call Johnners or just say "fuck it" and let him do the legwork?  Since he excludes me due to that wife of his, I owe him no help in planning this thing.  Let him, er, uh, her do the planning and he can relay it to the rest of us.  It had better not be the night of the 15th, though, or Carolina will be pissed!  And rightfully so, I have her mother all nervous about making dinner for us that night and I can't cancel.  Worst case scenario, I'll meet up with them after the dinner ends.  Gotta go get fitted this week, though, maybe later today!

Life's game.
So, how to play this one, eh?  So many things going on at once in people's lives.  I'll admit that mis-communication is a constant and getting worse with a key person.  How do I break that down and figure this out?  Gawd, here I am, blogging while at work.  I have plenty to do, and could have more but I have no initiative.  Need.  New.  Job.  Now!!!!!

That's it and that's all, folks!

Halibut vegetable chowder

Try this tasty and healthy soup.  It's savory and delicious, plus it's quite flexible, you can add what you want and not dramatically change the flavor.

You will need:
Vegetables:  All you really need to follow here is the onion and garlic.  Add/subtract any vegetable you want, but don't add too much volume, as a 28oz can of tomatoes and 1c of liquid is all this calls for.  If you want more, double up the recipe.  Root and calciferous vegetables work best.
1/2c of chopped onion
Carrot (1 or 2) julienne cut
Celery stalks (1 or 2) diagonally cut
2-3 small potatoes (red) or 1 potato (russet) or 5-6 "B" red potatoes
Cauliflower and/or broccoli, stalks removed.
Corn/peas if desired, drained
1 clove garlic

Broth:  Nothing fancy here...
28 oz can of tomatoes, crushed
1c water or wine.  If using wine, pick a red that isn't "bold" like Pinot Noir
1 tbsp chicken bullion granules
1/4 tsp each of dried crushed thyme and basil (again, flexible, just don't overdo any particular herb)
3 tbsp parsley, minced and divided
1/4 tsp each salt and pepper

Meat:
1.5 lbs Alaskan Halibut, cut into 1" cubes

In a large saucepan (or stock pot if doubling up), saute vegetables in 2 tbsp oil (olive, canola, vegetable, etc.) and a little butter for flavor, if desired, for about 5 minutes.  Stir frequently to ensure all veggies are coated with the oil and butter.
Add tomatoes, water/wine, bullion, herbs/salt/pepper, and 2 tbsp of the parsley.  Stir well and simmer for about 20 minutes (if you're using potatoes, simmer until they're almost fully cooked), stirring occasionally.
Add halibut and simmer for another 5 or 10 minutes, or until halibut is cooked.  It should flake easily with a fork when it's done and have the very bright white color that is characteristic of this fish.

Use remaining parsley as a garnish and serve hot.  It's very good with crusty bread to mop up what's left of the very savory (especially if wine is used) broth.  Should fill about 6 soup bowls.

It can be served with wine, a mild, drier red variety, but I prefer beer with this one.  Something about hot soup and cold beer (or heck, a glass of milk is good, too!).  Choose a dark one that's not heavy or sweet.  Guinness draught or Lienie's Creamy Dark are both good choices.  If dark, dry beer isn't your thing, try any variety you like in the winter, such as a pub ale (like Bass) or IPA.  If you're one of those who won't drink anything but domestic lager, stick to wine :)

Alaska Trips, Job Searches, Other Tidbits...

I'm back, and I didn't see any bears from the inside; saw plenty from the outside!  How thrilling!
Wrestling halibut was FUN!  Trying to snag dilapidated salmon was fun, too, but not as much fun as wrestling halibut.  All in all, a great time was had by everyone, but at a substantial cost.  Can't go every year, but Kodiak Island hasn't seen the last of me, not by a long shot!  The salmon counts as the Buskin weir the day we left was about all I needed to know I'll be back.  Too bad we weren't there for the fresh, biting silvers.

The job search is going somewhat decent.  I actually managed to wrangle an interview for a job that's probably beyond my qualifications.  However, it would be a great challenge and change of pace.  Time to dust off my interview skills and get my suit dry cleaned!  In other news, I submitted an application to General Mills.  Too bad I can't seem to find another 3M position I'm interested in, but such is life.  And, living in a big town like this that is still mostly economically sound has it's benefits; there are lots of opportunities out there.

Since I've been stuffing halibut down my face with considerable frequency, here's a couple quick recipes that taste fantastic, courtesy of my mind:

Coconut battered halibut tidbits:
Cut small cubes, about 1", and dry on paper towels.
Pour oil (canola, vegetable, peanut, etc.) in to a cast iron skillet, up to about a half inch from the bottom.  Heat on stove, using a popcorn kernel to determine when it's ready.  When the kernel pops, the oil is hot enough.  Test with flour sprinkle; it should turn brown, not black.  If it turns black, turn the heat down; medium heat should work well.  If the oil smokes, it's too hot!
Set up three shallow bowls; one with cornstarch, one with an egg and a splash of milk (or multiple, one egg should coat about a half pound of fish). Let the egg rest to room temperature, it will coat the fish much better than if it's cold.  And finally, one with a mixture of sweetened baker's coconut shavings and flour,  seasoned if desired (try Cheyenne pepper, garlic powder, and sea salt).
Roll pieces in cornstarch, coating thoroughly.
Coat those pieces in egg and roll in flour/coconut mixture until fully coated.
Place coated pieces in skillet, cook about a minute on each side or until brown and crispy.
Remove from skillet and drain on paper towels.
Serve with marmalade or dip of your choice.  They also taste good without dip, just salt.
Halibut lacks the "fishy" taste and no lemon juice or vinegar is needed!

Pan seared halibut with shallot cream sauce:
Halibut:
Preheat oven to 450F.
Heat canola oil to a "shimmer" or until it begins to smoke, in a cast iron skillet.
Prepare fillets, about 1/2 to 3/4 of a pound each, of roughly equal thickness throughout, about 1" if possible.
Dry thoroughly and coat with a light coating of seasoned flour.
Place fillets in the hot oil, sear for about one minute on each side.
Drain excess oil from skillet and place in the oven for 7-8 minutes or until done.  Halibut will remain juicy and should easily flake with a fork when it's cooked properly.  Searing well helps hold in moisture, so be sure the fish is well seared on both sides before putting in the oven.
Remove skillet from oven and remove fish from skillet right away and serve hot!

Cream sauce:
Melt about 2-3 tbs. of butter over medium/medium-low heat in a small saucepan and add one small shallot, finely chopped.  Add fresh or dry dill weed to taste, about a 1/2 tsp to start; more can be added later and since dill is strong, don't overdo it!
Cook in butter until shallot pieces become translucent, about 3 minutes.
Add some flour and whisk well until most butter is absorbed and cook flour until brown to make a roux.  This should take only a couple minutes.
De-glaze the roux with white wine, about 1/4 cup or so. 
Add a little heavy whipping cream (about 1/4 cup) at this time and mind the heat; don't let the mixture boil!  Continue whisking!
Add about 1/4 cup of milk until the mixture is thin, or to desired volume.
Continue to whisk, keeping the mixture from boiling, until it reduces to half the original volume, or to desired thickness.
During the reduction process, you can add more dill, or any seasoning you want.  A pinch of parmesan and/or fresh ground black pepper adds nice flavor.
Pour cream sauce over fish and serve the dish hot hot hot!
This should be enough cream sauce to serve with two fillets.  Increase amounts of butter/cream/wine as needed.

Side dish ideas:
A fresh garden salad with vinaigrette works well with the fish and cream sauce.
Steamed vegetables.
Mashed potatoes, however desired (traditional, cheesy, with herbs, etc.).
Steamed fresh green beans or asparagus spears with a little butter.
Crusty bread to mop up excess cream sauce.

A dry white wine works best, served chilled of course.

Hi Ho! Alaska!

Here in the life and times, we (I, actually) like to keep things positive.
Well, it can't get any more positive than a trip to Alaska.  And, in case any creepers found their way here, I have someone staying at my place.  Said someone has huge biceps and is a surgeon with a 12 gauge, and has total command over my 80 lb dog.  In case you find yourself with tooth and buck-shot holes in your body while slowly bleeding out, you can't say you weren't warned.
The order of the trip will be Kodiak Island salmon and open water fishing.  My fly fishing skills are lacking, however, so I can only hope I actually catch something.  I'm going to challenge myself, and not "suck the teet" of conventional spinning and casting tackle like I'm used to.  Instead, I'm going to keep throwing flys out there until I succeed.
That's all, folks!  Gotta get caught up at work and in the personal life before I split so y'all enjoy your time, I know I'll enjoy mine!!!!

In Uncle John's passing...

So, the services were a couple days ago, and I've had a little time to reflect.

Mom pointed out how sorry she feels for Judy, and that people forgot that John was "no angel" while they were married.  In addition, Judy felt bad seeing John so happy in all those photos without her in his life to any significant extent.  Also heard she will or may lose a significant portion of her income from his pension from the county and military.  To which I say...
Bummer.  But, is there really any excuse for her to complain about money?  She owns the house outright, got half of a solid income for several years, and by accounts is a pretty frugal liver of life.  There is no excuse for financial troubles, if she has any.  She needn't be concerned about leaving money to her kids, John took very good care of that.  Does she have a right to be upset?  I suppose, but if she's going to start running him down, I'll not be interested in talking with her as time goes on.

Karen is a good person.  Do I want to spend time with her in the future?  Well... people like her normally aren't my cup of tea, too religious.  But a bike ride and a chat here and there should be okay.  No problems with that, not a single one.

And, the old man.  How's he going to fair going forward with this?  Not sure.  I've made extra efforts to talk with him and be as involved with him as I can.  Tuck helps in this regard sooooo much.  Where would we be without that mangy mutt?

Now to John's thank you note, from me:
Thanks for being a willing conversationalist with an overly inquisitive teenager who had all the answers, or so he thought.  Thanks for teaching me how to ski.  Thanks for being non-judgemental all the years I knew you.  Thanks for having me down to Prescott and actually paying me for doing stuff I would have gladly done for free.  Thanks for arranging all the free lift tickets to Lutsen and Afton Alps all those years.  Thanks for giving sage advice to a 20-something kid trying to find his way in the world.  Thanks for giving me a very memorable last word "Matt, listen up.  You take your girlfriend somewhere nice real soon here, don't be a cheapskate."  Love it.  Being called a cheapskate by a Rowe is an honor; I must live one hell of a frugal life for that to be possible!  Wow.  Classic Uncle John, still makes me laugh.  Great way to end things with someone!

In other news, what a sloppy football game last night.  Both teams were dropping passes, making mental mistakes, just sloppy football and our team came out the worse for wear.  Boy, the Vikes sure look rusty on offense.  On defense, they were quite solid, though, and EJ looked really good!  So happy for him to come back from that horrific injury.

The Twinkies continue to hang tough, despite unlikely contributors.  Due to that, I think we're due for another early playoff exit.  I get this feeling that very soon, Gardy won't be given slack like that.  New ballpark, medium sized market, sold out games all year... Yup, hot seat for Gardy if they don't at least look competitive in a playoff series!

Rest in peace, Uncle John.  I'll have your skis on the hill in no time!